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Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Glad that "you" don't know her

As you can see..
"you" can be nickname for a person or group of
certain people..for me..
good thing also they didn't know
that this blog exist...

the her that i am referring to
well.. I really admire her..
she has the looks, the brains, a cool attitude and personality
for short your dream friend, daughter, or friend.
in my eyes she is that way..

I am really thankful that the "you"
doesn't know her.. ehheeh
i am kinda tired you know..
of being compared to.. good thing
i was already used to it though i
don't have a good feeling about it.. and
kinda irritated to it..

You can say i kinda grew up to
being compared to other person..and i was
always being on the wrong side of it..
for every mistake i did..

maybe that was the reason why
i have some kind of inferiority complex..
yep.. believe it or not i have..
and also because "you" wants me on top

maybe that also the reason i don't
have low voice or i am shouting..
because that was my old environment...

maybe i am selfish because..
i wasn't taught to be selfless..
altough i think much selflessness is selfishness..

maybe the reason why i am so talkative..
is for that i seek attention? or just because
i was born like that?? hehe for me i would choose the
second one...

and maybe i have learned to answer
you when you're going to "blah blah mode"
is that maybe i am so tired of being able
to listen to you and you don't even try
to listen to me...

but on the other hand.. it was my fault..
sorry self.. i am so stupid that i didn't know
that i was influenced too much.. sorry self
for my all time idiocy for my clumsiness..
and sorry self for not being the person
whom they and the "you" want to be...

i was a child back then..
yeah my fault..i don't study too much back then

good thing i don't have in my mind
that this blog exist because "you"
would say that this is 'kaartehan' or
just one of products of my foolishness...

Sorry for the words.. kinda angst isn't it?
and i was off topic.. and i am going ewww
now i read it ugh! this not kinda me
to be all carried away and be down like this..

anyways thanks for reading!
god bless..

5 DAYS TO GO SCHOOL DAYS NA!

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